Leaders need to be able to work with all kinds of people. The ability to identify those who matter, understand how they can influence the outcomes you care about, and getting a good read on them is critical to your success.
Getting a good read on a colleague isn’t terribly hard but it takes time to learn what to look for. The late Professor of Computer Science and Human-Computer Interaction and Design at Carnegie Mellon, Randy Pausch, in his famous “Last Lecture”, gives his daughter a small bit of dating advice with the words, “Disregard everything he says, and just pay attention to everything he does.” This advice is relevant to us in the workplace too - actions indeed speak louder than words and people who talk too much or seem too anxious to please are best handled with care.
You can learn a lot about someone by interacting with them in informal settings and observing them when they are not playing a tightly scripted role or putting on a show. In his best-selling book, ‘What they don’t teach you at Harvard’, Mark McCormack writes that you can learn a great deal about people by observing how they behave on a golf course.
We do learn a lot by observing people, especially those who have let down their guard. However, I have learned to be careful with first impressions. Misunderstandings can occur when the speaker uses the wrong word(s) from poor language skills or laughs out loud quite inappropriately out of nervousness. Appearances too can deceive. Problems in our personal life can cause many of us to avoid socializing. People tend to become reticent when they have a poor grasp of the local language. I am reminded of the story of a reclusive bachelor in Chennai who avoided everyone in the apartment society he lived in, gaining the reputation of being a little strange and the label “best avoided”. Everything changed when a small boy fell into a nearby well. While many stood frozen, this man dived into the water without any hesitation and saved the child. As you can guess, he is now a hero to everyone who lives there.
As a manager, thanks to the many cognitive biases we all are susceptible to, you will form first impressions of the men and women you meet, especially in job interviews. If these early impressions are very strong, setting them aside and looking for more information to make a balanced decision may be your best strategy.
Very true and to be actively practiced… well written, Ravi.
Well written.
Very true Ravi. Putting aside a negative first impression is still tough for me. Easier to put aside good first impressions and dig a little deeper. Let’s face it. We all put on an act when meeting someone for the first time!
Well written Ravi….agree with you. Some try too hard to please, some stumble….the ‘real’ self is hidden. But sadly, it hardly takes any time to form those first impressions and they are pretty difficult to get over.
Wow very astute observations about the Human behaviour. A good helpful analysis. Could have elaborated some more but crisp and to the point as it is. Keep up the good work.
Very well thought out piece. Often what is under the surface is never seen or considered which can lead to some very revealing discoveries, but alas in often drastic circumstances. Harvard encourages their MDP participants go deeper and get to know their co-participants at a more personal level. The outcome is that when you know someone more personally, you are likely to collaborate better. Thanks for these elevating thoughts Ravi.
So well said Ravi! We do try to give the halo effect and sometimes, for want of a better word, the devil’s horns, with the first impression they form in our minds. Little do we realize that in just another circumstance this feeling about the person would soon vanish. Friendly engagement definitely has provided me with the edge in understanding people in my workplace better.
Love it, Ravi. Just came back from a 3-day trip to Madurai, Tenkasi and Kutralam. Something relevant to this article. I made reservations online to stay and I called up the hotel to confirm and to get a few other things clarified. For some reason I felt the person speaking to me was a bit unfriendly and even rude. To my surprise, when I met the very same person at the hotel reception, found him not only to be friendly but also helpful and resourceful.