Being authentic

Not long ago, when I was delivering a session on ‘Personal Effectiveness’ as a part of a Leadership Skills program, we discussed the importance of defining our “personal brand”. As we explored this topic, a participant asked me why I had not included ‘Authenticity’ as one of the ways we define who we are and what we stand for. Even as he spoke, I realized that he was right. I acknowledged to the group right away that henceforth I would include a whole activity and discussion on ‘Authenticity’.

Leaders are trusted when they are seen to be authentic. This trust in turn leads to better relationships at work, greater productivity and a generally more positive work environment. And who can deny that being inauthentic is hard work? It takes a lot of effort to behave in ways that are at odds with our true values, thoughts and priorities. Managers who fake their way up the career ladder do not really deceive anyone for long and good workers learn to avoid them. They can end up with strong feelings of the ‘imposter syndrome’. Some may even find themselves ignored when they are no longer in powerful positions.

How can leaders then display this you-know-it-when-you-see-it quality? The obvious ways would include practicing what you preach (the opposite of hypocrisy), making decisions based on principle rather than short-term gains, being open about mistakes (displaying vulnerability), accepting responsibility for their actions, giving credit where it is due, acting on feedback and never, ever, lying.

What else can we do to demonstrate the quality of being true and genuine? It occurs to me that there is an element of relatability too when people talk of a leader being authentic. Our team members want to see the human side of us, that we don’t take ourselves too seriously, that we don’t think we are perfect (because no one is). Here are a few other ways we can show that we are real, not someone we are pretending to be:

• Share something about yourself. Talking about our own life makes us relatable and human. We can share our challenges and mistakes within boundaries and even our achievements without preening. One of my friends has a real knack of poking fun at himself, which reassures everyone that he is “one of us”.
• Open up and tell how you feel. When faced with a failure or escalation, good leaders are able to express their regret and disappointment in an appropriate way. This allows them to acknowledge the reality of a bad situation and start immediately to take steps to improve it.
• Ask questions to understand. When we seek to understand something new, we are telegraphing humility, and at the same time, a good measure of self-confidence. Not wanting to clarify for fear of looking dumb can lead to trouble, which in turn can hurt a leader’s credibility considerably.
• Offer help, not criticism. Being only critical of others’ actions is easy. Offering help when someone has made a mistake is harder. It shows generosity, patience and empathy. It is a tacit acknowledgment that no one is immune from making mistakes. “Telling it like it is” with bluntness is not really being honest. It lacks finesse and kindness. If the error was egregious, it is okay to call out one’s feelings with words like, “This is deeply upsetting” in private.
• Set expectations, assertively and proactively. I have found that being clear when setting performance goals and objectives eliminates guesswork on what is really needed. It also announces to your team what you will measure and thus what you will reward. This clarity will let your team know you are fair, transparent and trustworthy.
• Know your job. One of my former leaders was extraordinarily good at his work. His competence and commitment to his role were plain as day. We knew that we could count on his support at any time, any day of the year.

All of us have worked with authentic leaders who have a healthy alignment between their internal beliefs and values and their external behaviour. These leaders inspire trust in them and connect strongly with their teams. I would love to hear from you of your experiences with such leaders. I would also like to know of your own examples of demonstrating sincerity and genuineness in your work.