Do you need coaching?

Do you feel overwhelmed by your job? Has your work lost meaning to you? Are you not sure what is really important anymore? Are you consistently putting off what may be important and urgent, without conscious reasons? Do you behave in ways you regret when you feel strong emotions? Does giving feedback to your team members or talking to powerful people fill you with dread? Does working with people from diverse backgrounds fill you with resentment? Do you feel a sudden loss of confidence? Do you find it hard to set goals and achieve them? Is getting out of bed on a Monday morning getting harder and harder?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions (this list is by no means exhaustive), it is more than likely that your performance as a leader has suffered. What is worse, your team will have been impacted too. If you are serious about addressing any such issues, you should consider engaging the services of an effective coach. Last year, I wrote what coaching is and exhorted managers and leaders to play the role of a coach to their team members. Note that coaching is different from mentoring. In this post, I ask you to consider how coaching can help you.

Coaching is a 1-on-1 process of development that encourages learning through self-discovery rather than through teaching. Effective coaches use a structured process of coaching methods to prompt reflection, clarify and shift thinking, challenge biases and assumptions and bring to the surface any inner mental blocks.

You should know that being coached is not easy. Coaching can be successful only if you (the coachee), really want to gain a greater understanding of yourself, are willing to take an unflinching look at yourself and want to make a positive change. Effective coaches can help you gain a better understanding of what drives you, what biases you have and what self-limiting beliefs you hold. But they cannot do so without your honesty, candour and perseverance.

If you are indeed willing to consider the services of a coach, here are a few caveats to keep in mind:

• There are coaches, and then there are coaches. Take your time in selecting your coach. Most of them are willing to have an obligation-free initial meeting with you. Look for their ability to listen and build rapport with you. Ask them to explain how they will coach you and for client testimonials. Learn from your network if the coach is professional, respects confidentiality and is discreet. Do not hesitate to turn down coaches whose only qualification is a certification. Beware of those who grandstand or who promise quick results.
• Coaching cannot fix deep-seated psychological problems. In such cases, you are better off going to a counsellor or psychotherapist who will focus on understanding, resolving and healing emotional trauma and pain from the past.
• The changes you wish to see in yourself will most likely be slow. Trying to overcome past habits and create new ones is one of the hardest things we can do. Resist the urge to give up and know that even slow progress is progress.
• Do not expect your coach to solve your problems. What you can expect from effective coaching is greater self-awareness. You will acquire tools to understand your problems better. You will get feedback on what you intend to do. You will be challenged on your assumptions and biases. Remember, the focus of your coach is on you, what you think and what you experience.

I believe coaching has a very important place in today’s world. It can unlock your potential and maximize your performance. To be effective, it requires both parties, the coach and the coachee, to fully understand what coaching is, what it can deliver as outcomes, and what it takes.

Have you been coached? What have you learned from the experience? Can you share your stories in the below comments box? I would love to hear from you.