What’s your story?

This post written by Sridhar Krishnan, was originally published in 2015 on the Transcend Talent Transformation Blog.

Brett Lee, Australian cricketer and fearsome fast bowler, retired in 2015 from all forms of the sport. Over a successful 15-year international career, he represented his country in more than 300 matches and dismissed opposition batsmen more than 700 times.

Lee has any number of enviable achievements to choose favourite moments from: a World Cup win, Test Player of the Year, Wisden Cricketer of the Year, numerous “Player of the Match” awards, and so on.

But, when asked about his cherished memories, in an interview he gave shortly after announcing his retirement, did he pick from any of these obvious feathers in his cap? Here, in his own words, is an example of an occasion that he holds dear, a torrid and unproductive bowling spell during a tour of the West Indies.

“I was bowling to [West Indian batting legend] Brian Lara over in Trinidad when he got a hundred,” he said.

“I think he was on 90-odd for about an hour and I was running in, it was pretty hot, bowling 150k’s plus and I just could not get him out. I was trying so hard. After that day he came in and said that was one of the most exciting times that he’d had on the Test field.

“To me, it’s those challenges that excite me more. Of course, I love seeing stumps fly…but sometimes it’s the battle within the battle.”

The battle that Brett Lee is describing here is a contest against a specific opponent in the field. A bat versus ball contest. But when he refers to “those challenges” he’s also talking about an internal challenge, a test of his own ability and his will to push that ability to match up to the situation.

Bowling against a worthy opponent such as Brian Lara when he was batting at his best obviously mattered a lot to Lee. He gave of his best in a situation that tested his mettle. Understandably, it also was a matter of personal pride and satisfaction to him that Lara complimented him at the end of the day’s play. It’s not difficult to see why this is one of Lee’s cherished memories.

Reading this interview got me thinking. If I were to select the most cherished memories from my modest corporate career, on what basis would I choose them? Likewise, what do the people in my circle recollect most often from their careers? When they recount their memories what do they typically talk about?

The memories that we carry from our professional lives are, in general terms, at two levels.
One level revolves around our major achievements (or setbacks). For instance, projects completed, patents awarded, deals won, books published, job promotions, a successful investment pitch, and so on.

These are memories of our big career milestones. They are achievements that have kept our personal scoreboards ticking. Like everyone else I have my fair share of these that I can readily recall.

The other level of recollection is more about the journey we’ve undertaken. These are the episodic memories of situations we’ve survived and the struggles we’ve endured…to productive or unproductive ends. These are memories of the circumstances where our strengths came to the fore, or vulnerabilities were exposed.

These are our own battles within the battles.

I can recollect a few of these, too, from my career. An important presentation I worked hard at and that was received well by a customer. A crisis that my team and I managed well. A crucial meeting with another key client that I botched. An oversight on my part that cost me nearly a month’s worth of experimental research work as a graduate student. And more such.

All of us have a bank of memories of both types. The question is, what do we prefer to reflect on the most? Some ruminate more about their scoreboard; others reflect more on their journey. I believe that people who are considered by their peers to be particularly insightful and worthy of learning from share some common traits:

• As they’ve gone through their careers and lived through their experiences, they’ve done so with mindfulness. Therefore, they often have vivid recollections of situations, circumstances and characters from their careers.
• When they reflect on their careers, which they do a lot, they choose to reflect more on their journey, their battles within the battles, and not as much about the wins and losses on their scoreboard.
• Hence, they seem able to connect their dots better, learn more effectively from their experience, and share their wisdom in more engaging ways. For this reason, they are also more likely to come across as worthy mentors.

That should not come as a surprise, I guess. After all, our personal endeavours and struggles contain our own eureka moments. They are the main crucibles of our learning, growth and motivation. But only if we choose to reflect, with intent, on these battles.

Put differently, there are two ways to develop our personal narrative of our careers. We can build our story based on the achievements and setbacks we’ve notched up on our scoreboard. Or, like Brett Lee, we can build our narrative around the battles within the battles that have shaped our journey and our wisdom. The latter narrative is likely to be more stirring and fulfilling not only for us but also to those who want to listen to our story.