Many years ago, when I was a graduate student in Texas, I learned to stretch a dollar. My friends and I helped each other out. Few of us had a car back then, and the ones who did, did not hesitate to chauffeur friends around, sometimes to the local Walmart or to the Schulman’s Movie Theatre on Dollar Tuesdays. Once, a friend asked to borrow my 8-cylinder Mercury Cougar, a gas-guzzling car that had seen better days before entering into my service. He wanted the car to pick up a cousin from Houston’s Intercontinental Airport, a good 100 miles away. I gave him the car keys and cautioned him about the speed traps on Highway 290. When he returned the car to me later that day, unbeknownst to me, he had filled up the huge tank with gasoline. It was a thoughtful gesture I have never forgotten.
Being thoughtful is being nice certainly, but it is more than that. It takes a little bit of imagination and empathy. It is asking yourself, “what can I do that will help the other person just a little bit?” This past year, all of us have had ample opportunities to be considerate to the others at home, who just like us, have been sharing space and a WIFI signal to study, to work, to connect with others.
As leaders, by being thoughtful at work, we can ease the burden of our team members, our clients, our bosses just a little. They too must be working from home in less-than-ideal conditions – can we be a little more understanding of how difficult it must be for them? Here are a few ways we can demonstrate thoughtfulness:
- By being more self-aware. Do you know the impact of your words and actions on others? When I am in doubt about the wisdom of using certain words, I err on the side of caution and bite my lip. Ask others how you come across – you will almost certainly learn something about yourself.
- By slowing down. We will not be able to notice what others are going through if we are running. By hitting the pause button and taking the time to notice, reflect and ask questions, we can become keenly aware of the hardships and challenges others are going through and what they may need. Acknowledging what a person is going through, in simple and brief words, will show that you think beyond yourself.
- By offering to help. While many folks may remain silent even when in need of assistance, others may not welcome unsolicited help. Offering to help can be a respectful and appropriate way of showing you care.
- By assuming less. When someone does not respond to your emails or calls, we can suspend unhelpful self-talk and harsh judgments and instead ask “Is everything okay?”
- By recognizing others’ good deeds. Paying a well-deserved compliment is not all that common. Acknowledging a good turn, a kindness or an achievement, tells your team that you are taking the effort to notice and appreciate.
Being thoughtful does not happen on its own. It requires conscious effort and repeated practice. Make it a habit – set aside 5 minutes every day to reflect on what is going on with the people in your life, both at home and at work. Your thoughtfulness, especially now, will go a long way towards cementing your reputation of being a caring and considerate leader. I’d love to hear how you have shown your thoughtfulness towards your team and your clients.
Wonderful! Thought provoking….forces one to.pause and reflect. This one drew me into some soul searching now.
Thoughtful Relevant and well written article
Ravi, the fact that you took the time to write such a wonderful article and bring about awareness, is the height of thoughtfulness. My good wishes for your noble service to continue.
Timely topic in this phase of FUD and fraying nerves. The article mentions some naturally actionable points which are useful whether one is in the office or WFH.
The importance of thoughtfulness cannot be overemphasised, all the more so in these chaotic and stressful times. Your post, especially the five-point approach on how we can demonstrate thoughtfulness, is very timely and handy and eminently readable.
Very very true. The exact gesture came to me in fact from the owner of a car which I borrowed. While handing over the keys to me he said nothing except to have a nice safe drive I was to have for 800 kms. But when I set out on my way to first fill up fuel, I realised to my pleasant surprise, he had topped up the tank fully. Almost as if to say, “have the car and a full tank of fuel too”. I also realised when I returned the car, it was only appropriate to return it with the tank topped up. Well such is thoughtfulness returned I guess. Great article and very relevant thanks Ravi!
Great post yet again! Taking pauses to spread kindness adds more value to life and your post is a gentle nudge in that direction.
How can you effortlessly be so incredibly thoughtful all the time, Ravi!?
Sometimes the simplest things mean the most. Thank you for the beautiful post and your thoughtfulness.
This is food for thought. Often, we don’t stop, pause and reflect on our thoughts or actions.Thanks Ravi for highlighting such simple yet profound ways to be more thoughtful. Especially in times like these.
Very appropriate for the current times, both at work and home, to consciously practice and making / improving the habit. Well written, Ravi. Thank you. 👍
Ravi….another gem of a blog from you. I remember the hard time during 2020 lockdown. Couple of my friends and well-wishers made sure to call me on daily basis and encouraged in all possible ways. You are one among them. You taught me a valuable lesson on how one can be more supportive during hard time. A timely moral support is what most of us need. The right questions as you mentioned “Is everything okay?”, “How can I help you?” means a lot to many.
Timely and thoughtful musings, Mr. Ravi! True that one has to be sensitive and considerate to friends, colleagues and others – always, but more so now! This pandemic reminds us on how fragile life is and that we don’t take anything with us!
So nice of you to recall the kindness of your friend from so many years ago! Many may have taken this for granted and passed it on as a favor in exchange for loaning the car! I have experienced several acts of such kindness. One I would like to share is that of my Boss. My family was touring the US and they had picked us up from one of our local long haul flights, to drive to their weekend home. In spite of my Boss being unwell, she thoughtfully packed Indian snacks for our ride with some hot tea as we had a long flight followed by long drive! Person of her stature did not even have to give us a ride! It is such people who really make this world a better place to live in!
I try my best to pass on the kindness!
Scriptures or good mentors can make us better.